Trust!

I'm always happy when I find out a restaurant has a gluten free menu.  I am very appreciative and feel I am with people I can trust (read - a kitchen that will be careful with my food).  Why else would they have a GF menu?  They must care, right?

Last summer we were in the mountains for a weekend and went into a Mexican restaurant I used to go to with work friends years ago. I was overjoyed when the waitress said they had a GF menu.  We had a wonderful meal, I felt safe and I knew I would come back to the restaurant next time I was passing through.  

Fast forward to this past weekend. We decided to go there for lunch. We got there before the skiers came down off the mountain for lunch and found seats at the bar.  The barman asked if we wanted to start with chips and salsa - I said they needed to be gluten-free.  He immediately jumped into action and said they had some GF chips that were made in a GF kitchen, he lined the chip basket and came back with pristine chips and 2 wonderful salsas!   Oh life is so good now that GF is moving more towards an acceptable mainstream request, I thought.  

I ordered, spinach enchiladas with black beans and rice, off the GF menu and the man ordered a humongous bean burrito (no cheese) from the regular menu.  In no time at all, a server arrived with two huge (for lunch) plates, checked with the barman who told him who was eating what, and we made space on the bar for our feast.  My plate looked fantastic and the man's did not have a hint of cheese - quite often they remember and don't put cheese in the burritos and then completely forget and sprinkle cheese on the top....it was perfect!

I took a couple of large mouthfuls of my wonderful spinach burrito and then took a second look at the tortillas....they looked a little puffy and white. I panicked!  I asked the man if he thought they were flour tortillas? He compared them to his burrito and said he didn't think they were as it was breaking like a corn tortilla.  I took a piece and rubbed it between my fingers...it was gummy.  The light in the bar was not good, but the more I looked the more I knew I must have been glutined, that or someone had worked out how to make killer GF flour tortillas.

The barman came over to find out if we were doing okay, I apologized for my paranoia and asked if he could confirm these were corn tortillas.  His face went serious and he squinted at them in the dim bar light.  He picked my place up and hurried away.  He came back empty handed and apologetic, are you going to be okay, I'm so sorry, the kitchen made a mistake.  Crap!   Literary crap (for the next 2 weeks, I thought)!

He asked if I would be okay, I said I would notice it.  I really didn't want to get into details about my digestive tract during lunch hour with people around eating.  Though I really wanted to mention the shits for 2 weeks, aches and pains, brain fog and the general malaise I would experience for most of the month of February. The man felt some sympathy for the barman and said I was not epi-pen allergic!  He looked relieved and said he would bring out a real GF meal.  The man then dug a deeper hole and said the effect was like a bad hangover.  I was a little miffed and thought about it for awhile - I needed a line to describe what happens without overly grossing people out.  I said it's a bad case of food poisoning. The barman apologized again.

When I got home I ate some fiber gummies to hopefully move things along a little faster, I took an All Flora probiotic pill and drank a 750 ml bottle of Pelegrino.  I felt sorry for myself and ate some probiotic chocolate...that did make me feel better :-)  As the twinges in my upper colon started, I sorted out my vitamins - I try to take them every day, but during recovery time I need to take them daily.

I understand accidents happen, I need to look after myself and not assign blame. I will put this down to experience.  I'm not a prima-donna, I don't like too much attention and I hate being the fussy woman at a table, but I learned/reinforced a few things this weekend;

• I need to look after myself
• Don't blindly trust something is gluten free
• Question the GF menu
• Always look carefully at the food you are given
• Don't feel bad about confirming your order
• Let people know it IS a big deal

A case of the Mondays!

Negative

A couple of years ago my blood test for Celiac disease came back negative, but from what I have read since, a negative result doesn't mean much.   http://www.celiaccentral.org/research-news/does-a-negative-celiac-test-mean-you-are-safe-to-consume-gluten/

I thought it didn't matter whether I persevered with further testing since I feel so much better without gluten. I know I shouldn't ingest gluten, what does it matter if I am Celiac, allergic or intolerant? Just don't eat gluten!

Frustration

Unfortunately I have been going through a cycle of being clean and feeling great, followed by mistakenly ingesting gluten and feeling crap. I don't seem to be able to go more than 3 months without an incident and I am starting to wonder how bad these gluten poisoning cycles are for my body!

Eating Gluten by mistake :-(

When I am mistakenly "glutened" I sometimes sneeze within the first hour (my initial clue), then I feel a pain on the right side of my stomach (I think that's where food enters the intestines from the stomach). I feel a mild tightness in my chest that makes me feel I need to take deep breaths to stretch my lungs out to get enough oxygen (asthma runs in my family, but I have never been diagnosed); I can breathe well when my body is gluten free.

The gluten also affects by brain; my handwriting is scratchy and difficult to read, my typing is almost dyslexic and my short-term memory recall is ridiculous!  At one time I may have put the memory issue down to natural aging or tiredness, but I know that when I am gluten-free my mind is sharp, I have good recall, my vocabulary comes back, I am witty and funny...I like being alert and alive!  I hate being glutened and stuck in a cotton wool cloud where communication is difficult, frustrating and I get more headaches. The worst is, it can take me a full 3 weeks to recover and feel "normal" again.

Everything I eat also runs though me faster after I have been glutened, and it takes a week or two for it to return to normal.  Mornings are not good after being glutened, my joints are stiff when I get out of bed, and my muscles are weak. Instead of bouncing downstairs for morning coffee I hold the handrail very tightly and carefully step downstairs hoping my muscles will hold me and I do not fall and break my neck. I feel like a 90 year old lady! When gluten is in my system I can wake up with numb arms and hands, my back aches, my jaw aches (I must clench or grind my teeth when I sleep), and waking up is generally a chore; I don't wake up in a good mood.

It happened this weekend!

I was glutened this past weekend and I am not happy about it at all.  I have come to the realization I really should not eat out at all; no exceptions!  The only way I seem to be able to maintain a completely gluten free body is to eat at home.

The rollercoaster from a euphoric feeling of well body and mind to being plunged into 3 weeks of imprisonment in a lethargic body with a brain at half capacity is beginning to drain me. It is so depressing, I lose confidence in myself and have panic attacks about everything. I lie in bed at night and worry about life, will I have enough money to pay bills or enough for retirement, how is my health, do I have cancer? The  paranoia is the worst, it can keep me up all night.  Some concern is natural, but these strong thoughts are extreme and I don't get them when I am free of gluten.

Not happy!

I'm so annoyed that I allowed myself to eat something tainted...I should have known better.  My mantra should be, if in doubt - go without!  I should never ever eat anything that I don't trust!

Do I personally need a diagnosis (of "something")

Am I unconsciously not taking my gluten intolerance seriously enough?

What are these gluten poisonings doing to my body and brain? The gluten must be tearing up my gut each time, subjecting my body to reduced nutrition and clouding my brain - am I risking long term damage to my digestive system and promoting brain damage?  I think my concern stands (viable or not) whether I had been diagnosed with Celiac or not. But would I be more careful about gluten if I had a legitimate diagnosis?  I should be conscientious either way, I suffer the effects regardless of what medical issue I have.