A case of the Mondays!

Negative

A couple of years ago my blood test for Celiac disease came back negative, but from what I have read since, a negative result doesn't mean much.   http://www.celiaccentral.org/research-news/does-a-negative-celiac-test-mean-you-are-safe-to-consume-gluten/

I thought it didn't matter whether I persevered with further testing since I feel so much better without gluten. I know I shouldn't ingest gluten, what does it matter if I am Celiac, allergic or intolerant? Just don't eat gluten!

Frustration

Unfortunately I have been going through a cycle of being clean and feeling great, followed by mistakenly ingesting gluten and feeling crap. I don't seem to be able to go more than 3 months without an incident and I am starting to wonder how bad these gluten poisoning cycles are for my body!

Eating Gluten by mistake :-(

When I am mistakenly "glutened" I sometimes sneeze within the first hour (my initial clue), then I feel a pain on the right side of my stomach (I think that's where food enters the intestines from the stomach). I feel a mild tightness in my chest that makes me feel I need to take deep breaths to stretch my lungs out to get enough oxygen (asthma runs in my family, but I have never been diagnosed); I can breathe well when my body is gluten free.

The gluten also affects by brain; my handwriting is scratchy and difficult to read, my typing is almost dyslexic and my short-term memory recall is ridiculous!  At one time I may have put the memory issue down to natural aging or tiredness, but I know that when I am gluten-free my mind is sharp, I have good recall, my vocabulary comes back, I am witty and funny...I like being alert and alive!  I hate being glutened and stuck in a cotton wool cloud where communication is difficult, frustrating and I get more headaches. The worst is, it can take me a full 3 weeks to recover and feel "normal" again.

Everything I eat also runs though me faster after I have been glutened, and it takes a week or two for it to return to normal.  Mornings are not good after being glutened, my joints are stiff when I get out of bed, and my muscles are weak. Instead of bouncing downstairs for morning coffee I hold the handrail very tightly and carefully step downstairs hoping my muscles will hold me and I do not fall and break my neck. I feel like a 90 year old lady! When gluten is in my system I can wake up with numb arms and hands, my back aches, my jaw aches (I must clench or grind my teeth when I sleep), and waking up is generally a chore; I don't wake up in a good mood.

It happened this weekend!

I was glutened this past weekend and I am not happy about it at all.  I have come to the realization I really should not eat out at all; no exceptions!  The only way I seem to be able to maintain a completely gluten free body is to eat at home.

The rollercoaster from a euphoric feeling of well body and mind to being plunged into 3 weeks of imprisonment in a lethargic body with a brain at half capacity is beginning to drain me. It is so depressing, I lose confidence in myself and have panic attacks about everything. I lie in bed at night and worry about life, will I have enough money to pay bills or enough for retirement, how is my health, do I have cancer? The  paranoia is the worst, it can keep me up all night.  Some concern is natural, but these strong thoughts are extreme and I don't get them when I am free of gluten.

Not happy!

I'm so annoyed that I allowed myself to eat something tainted...I should have known better.  My mantra should be, if in doubt - go without!  I should never ever eat anything that I don't trust!

Do I personally need a diagnosis (of "something")

Am I unconsciously not taking my gluten intolerance seriously enough?

What are these gluten poisonings doing to my body and brain? The gluten must be tearing up my gut each time, subjecting my body to reduced nutrition and clouding my brain - am I risking long term damage to my digestive system and promoting brain damage?  I think my concern stands (viable or not) whether I had been diagnosed with Celiac or not. But would I be more careful about gluten if I had a legitimate diagnosis?  I should be conscientious either way, I suffer the effects regardless of what medical issue I have.